Heard to speech

For example, in everyday chitchat ..., when we hear someon's story we tend to respond with a story of our own. But that kind of "parallel storytelling" can keep us from learning all that might be learned from the first story and leave the speaker feeling unheard. So the host of a transformative conversation must invite people to stay in "inquiry mode" for a while by asking the storyteller honest, open questions about what he or she has said. Such questions, have the power, in the words of Nelle Morton to "hear people into speech," deeper and deeper speech.8 This not only helps people feel heard but helps them tell their story in greater depth, improving the odds that both the speaker and the listeners will learn something new.

What are the earmarks of an open, honest question? First and foremost, an honest, open question is one you cannot possibly ask while thinking to yourself, "I know the right answer to this and I sure hope you give it to me." For instance, "Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist?" is not