Workshop materials

The magic that the teddy bear can experience

Here is a piece by David Castro on Learning to Listen. It is called Empathy in 8 Minutes, and it is about how he experienced doing an exercise where you listen quietly for 8 minutes as someone tells you his or her life story.

When my partner started to tell his story, I wanted to ask a truckload of questions directing the conversation. I wanted to follow up on particular details, ask about things he hadn't mentioned, shortcut certain areas and learn more about others that interested me, like someone fast forwarding through a TV show.

After about three minutes, however, something remarkable happened. That incessant voice in my head began to quiet, and for the first time I began to listen at a deeper level. I observed my partner’s body language, soaked in his selected words and stopped trying to control the conversation flow. In the remaining five minutes, I learned something profound about the person speaking. I began to see and understand him for the first time. I was actually listening to him instead of focusing on my bundle of projections about him.

TBTS makes it easier for the experience to be about only one person's agenda at a time. Notice how natural it is to have the both surprising and not so surprising number of agendas that David Castro had as a listener in the first 3 minutes of this exercise.

Prompts to put in the chat

With any leftover time before the breakout rooms close, you could talk about other topics that you might talk about as a talker, or you can reflect on the experience you just had with your partner.

Suggestions for what to talk about

You could talk about

• working on getting started with something
• a conversation you need to have
• establishing a new habit or pattern
• something that's bothering you
• a decision you need to make
• getting your head in the space for something
• a topic as if you were talking to ____________
• something you are working on writing
• a major life issue

Goals and Dreams: Share your short-term and long-term goals and dreams.

Home Improvement: Share ideas for improving your living space.

Upcoming Events: Talk about upcoming events or special occasions like birthdays, holidays, or parties. Discuss plans and preparations.

Work and Career Goals: jobs, career aspirations, and recent work experiences.

Ideas from books, Things you want to learn, Fitness and wellness, Food and cooking