Workshop materials

The magic that the teddy bear can experience

Here is a piece by David Castro on Learning to Listen. It is called Empathy in 8 Minutes, and it is about how he experienced doing an exercise where you listen quietly for 8 minutes as someone tells you his or her life story.

When my partner started to tell his story, I wanted to ask a truckload of questions directing the conversation. I wanted to follow up on particular details, ask about things he hadn't mentioned, shortcut certain areas and learn more about others that interested me, like someone fast forwarding through a TV show.

After about three minutes, however, something remarkable happened. That incessant voice in my head began to quiet, and for the first time I began to listen at a deeper level. I observed my partner’s body language, soaked in his selected words and stopped trying to control the conversation flow. In the remaining five minutes, I learned something profound about the person speaking. I began to see and understand him for the first time. I was actually listening to him instead of focusing on my bundle of projections about him.

TBTS makes it easier for the experience to be about only one person's agenda at a time. Notice how natural it is to have the both surprising and not so surprising number of agendas that David Castro had as a listener in the first 3 minutes of this exercise.

Suggestions for what to talk about

You could talk about

• working on getting started with something
• a conversation you need to have
• establishing a new habit or pattern
• something that's bothering you
• a decision you need to make
• getting your head in the space for something
• a topic as if you were talking to ____________
• something you are working on writing
• a major life issue

Goals and Dreams: Share your short-term and long-term goals and dreams.

Home Improvement: Share ideas for improving your living space.

Upcoming Events: Talk about upcoming events or special occasions like birthdays, holidays, or parties. Discuss plans and preparations.

Work and Career Goals: jobs, career aspirations, and recent work experiences.

Ideas from books, Things you want to learn, Fitness and wellness, Food and cooking